So here we are day 5,929 of our great baby wait. At least that is how it feels sometimes. Throughout this pregnancy our medical team has pumped me up with hopes of an early delivery: we will have to induce you for the baby’s size, we will have to monitor you for your thyroid, we will have to induce you for fears of shoulder dystocia, we will have to monitor your sugar levels. All these little “red flags” that were tacked onto my appointments gave me the hope that perhaps this time, my baby would come early instead of weeks late. But, this little dude is quite comfortable and each concern sheds away with each passing day. From “let’s just get you to 35 weeks,” we are now hearing, “you can go all the way to 42 weeks!” And, yes I am delighted. I am thankful that we are healthy and that our complication risks are minimizing. I am thrilled that throughout the long months of gestation this little guy and my body got stronger and more adaptable.
BUT, I am SO ready to meet him. Henry and David talk about the little one all the time, and play in his room, and read books about the baby arriving. We have EVERYTHING ready to go from crib to carseat to clothes to burp cloths, to that dreaded double stroller. And now we wait. My new feeling is that instead of an April baby, this little dude is holding out for May, haha. So what am I doing to avoid the painful staring at my belly?
The potty training chronicles are on-going and have been an oddly welcomed distraction! Henry is doing really well with it too. Almost all of his activities make it to the bathroom and he is getting better and better at telling us. It is really sweet to put him in “big boy undies” and see him playing downstairs and having so much fun. I no longer see him as a “ticking time bomb” waiting to ruin my couch! This weekend to keep our minds busy we are planning to head downtown for a little visit to the North End and some touristy sight-seeing because WHO KNOWS when we will be able to do that again once the new member joins us and on Sunday I am going to my first fitness conference with my fellow coach Nikki. It feels like this mix of teaching, mothering, and coaching is just what I need in life these days. I am busy, and motivated, and feeling strong and healthy (although definitely achy by night fall, I cannot lie that this belly is a burden by the end of the day!). David always has hobbies to keep him busy and to keep him from spinning his wheels. When I was pregnant with Henry it was the summer and I felt very lonely just waiting for Henry to arrive and eventually I felt crazed. But this time, while the wait isn’t fun (because come on little guy don’t you want to meet earth-side already!?!?!) it is much much more manageable with everything that fills my life and day and I am so thankful to feel like I have real ownership over my day.
We are now three days into our “potty training.” It is going much better than I expected it to. Day 2 Henry and I stayed home and while this was the hardest part for me, he seemed to not mind at all. He played and played and told me when he wanted to use the facilities. The only issue I had was with the looming inevitable: how do we transfer this outside? It was “easy” to stay home and have the little dude run around the house bottomless and then hop on and off the potty as needed, but how do you tackle the world!?! It felt very daunting on Day 2 and so even though every inch of my skin crawled to do something outside and to go somewhere fun with the little one, my fear held me back. It also helped that it was rainy outside and really where could I go? By the end of the second day, Henry had “mastered” shouting “poopie!” and running from whatever toy or craft we were in the midst of to the potty. It was hilariously cute. There was only 1 accident on day two because we got really involved into a puzzle and were working with color groupings and you know sometimes when you get TOO into something you just pee yourself, no?
Day 3 was going to be the true test! We had registered for an Egg Hunt in the neighboring town. Could we go? Should we skip and shelter at home during this potty training storm? David and I went back and forth and finally decided “Hey, if he has an accident it is okay, accidents happen and it’s totally fine if this potty training experience is just the first of many attempts.” So we packed up our things and headed to the hunt. Henry used the potty before we left and while hunting for eggs, I asked him if he needed to and he said yes! WHAT? Where do I go? I raced him (as fast as my preggo body could) to the bathroom and Ta da he did it! Henry ate some snacks at the church and then we headed home. Upon arrival he did the potty again! Okay, MAYBE he really was ready for this. Of course during naps and at nighttime he wears a diaper because we don’t expect him to be able to hold it while he sleeps but I am really excited about having had our first venture out of doors! Hopefully as we head back to work this week, we can keep the momentum going even though we know that the arrival of baby 2 might bring about a big regression in this potty business, it is fine. We are trying to stay as casual about it as we can and just trying to follow Henry’s lead. And, yes we might be using a little ice cream to reward this awesome work!
How is it that every month has roughly 30 days and then the last month of pregnancy has 5,435 days! I am not a patient person and this wait killed when it was Henry’s turn and it is just as hard the second time. You would think I would have learned?
And it’s Spring Break which is such a blessing and curse for this mama. Clearly the timing is amazing because I should be relaxing and taking some time off my feet because before I know it this house is going to be VERY different. But I really struggle with empty space. I am notorious for filling up my calendar with a dozen errands and chores and trips and visits. The first day of spring break alone I plowed through most of my two week long to-do list by tackling the basement clean-up, Henry’s closet organization, baby room set-up, and hospital bag packing. I guess the bright side of this is that now there is very little to do and I am forced to confront my free time as it stands…free time. Seriously, this is not a problem because it is such a glorious gift but I need to really practice some mediation to help calm my frantic energy that wants to go go go. I am going to dedicate this time off then to centering and spending quality time with Henry without racing him from one thing to the next. These may be our final weeks as a mama, papa, kiddo triumvirate so I better savor it now before it totally passes me by!
Here is a little glimpse at the room all set up and ready to greet our newest member!
Is he really going to be this tiny? It feels so good having the hospital bag packed just in case, although NO ONE thinks I am going to go early except for me (and maybe my OB). That is what happens when baby 1 is so delayed, everyone around you just keeps reminding you of it.
I probably can’t afford a daily Lush bubble bath until baby, but I can squeeze in a few between now and baby. It was a glorious reminder that when I can shut down my brain there is beauty in the silence.
But, I am so excited to start the next few days home with my littlest man! It is going to be great to just snuggle this peanut and maybe even sneak him off to lunch with Daddy downtown (yup, there I go again planning out our days!).
And then this little one joins the party and it is SO crazy to see him because I feel like I know him and yet he is our greatest mystery.
The littlest member of our family is roughly the size of a large cabbage according to various fruit-baby comparison websites, haha. That is quite large! Have you been grocery shopping lately? A cabbage could feed a whole family and he still has more to grow, eek!
What is funny though is that this pregnancy is so similar and so different to Henry’s! I feel physically stronger, healthier, and more comfortable than when I was pregnant with Henry. And, at the same time that I say that, I did not have a difficult pregnancy with Henry. I feel like the bump is smaller this time around too, although perhaps I am delusional? I did think last time around that my body was “reabsorbing” the baby those last weeks of waiting for Henry to be born so delusional thoughts and this momma is not new territory! What do you think? IS there a difference? (and not just in the sleeping bags under mommy’s eye, haha).
I woke up this morning disappointed. Last night, I had a dream that I had my little baby. One hour of labor and one push and voila the baby arrived! He was so tiny and so snuggly. He had a crop of dark brown hair and brown eyes and he was just perfect. When I woke up, I knew it was just a vivid dream, the little one had not arrived yet and we are still 90 days away for the due date. It is so hard because I want to speed up time to meet him, but slow down time to savor these few weeks with Henry as our one and only. The dilemma!
27 weeks is one week away from the BIG glucose test. Since Henry was so big weighing in at 9lbs 12 oz, my OB struggled to understand how such a goliath baby could come from a mom who claims she is 5’3” on a good day. My medical chart was then assigned an asterisk that said something to the extent of “risk of possible gestational diabetes.” I didn’t have GD with Henry according to my blood work, but maybe, just maybe, I was on a borderline and my giant baby was then proof of this. Or, the other possibility is that I just grow giant babies! Thinking about this test has become a second job in some respects. When I walk into the faculty room at school and see a plate piled high with double chocolate chip cookies, I pause as my extended hand hovers over the plate, “Should I eat this, will this impact my chances of GD.” Reluctantly, I walk out sans cookies. And that, that moment right there, was when I decided I needed to flip my perspective. Instead of seeing it as deprivation, “I am not allowed to eat cookies,” I needed to see it as a choice. If having a smaller more reasonably sized baby is the goal and if avoiding the daily blood draws that come with GD is a goal, then I need to start making choices to get there. It has helped a lot and I do feel much more at ease within my skin and more importantly in that faculty room!
27 weeks also marks the big shift to recognizing that there are some things I cannot do anymore. Putting on my boots and taking them off is one of those things. Of course, this pregnancy falls right in boot season too. David has been a super hubs though and helps me get into my shoes and out of them at night so that I am not stuck sleeping in my shoes for the next three months. The beginning of the many indignities to come, hahaha. Carrying Henry up and down to the car is yet another cannot. I can if I have to, and I definitely still do, but my body much prefers someone else carrying him down to the car. My knees ache just enough to make being Henry’s personal sherpa uncomfortable. But when he calls out “mama hold me,” I say screw the knees and grab that little man because this is all too temporary. With 90 days to go, our family will grow before I can blink, so sometimes you just got to pause time and carry your toddler boy down the stairs and give your hubs that extra kiss.