Don’t bring home a panda bear

“Don’t bring home a panda bear, mommy,”  Henry shared last night when we were talking about how much I was going to miss him, and Owen, and his daddy when I went to China in 24 hours. “Why not Henry? Wouldn’t a cute panda bear be so fun to have in our home?” “Actually, no. He would scratch our walls,” and off he went to build another Lincoln log cabin, his latest favorite. Watching him design and execute on his imagination, I thought about how much I am going to miss these silly conversations. They are unpredictable, reflective, nonsensical, wise, and all things heart-warming. And simultaneously Owen’s language is just exploding! His little conversations include things like, “Mommy I need you,” as he takes my hand and hugs it to his chest. Or “Mommy poo poo in there,” as he laughs and points to his diaper and runs away from me laughing and laughing. Those moments are making me weepy today. I know once we land in Beijing, I will be assaulted with sounds, smells, and experiences and immersed in a new space, but until then I am trying to have all my feelings and squeeze in all hugs and kisses. Do you think I can pack David in my luggage? I worry that if I am having a travel angst, it will be hard to remain a calm, cool, and collected chaperone and David is always so good at reminding me that it will all buff out in the end. Am I excited to go? TOTALLY! But today is a day for not only packing that suitcase I have delayed packing, but also for putting aside my to-do list and any social media scrolling and to be fully immersed in the babies and David before I have to bid them adieu in the morning. Cheers to all the feels.

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