One year is approaching….on April 27, 2013 it will be one year since David and I moved into our first home. Yes, April is still far away as we freeze in the chilly air of February, but it is not THAT far away.
The best decision I ever made was marrying my best friend. The best decision we made was buying our home together. Even the puppies can agree as they romp around from the upstairs down and back up again that this new home is perfect. When we squeezed into our tiny apartment, we were convinced that we utilized our space well and needed not an additional square foot. While this was true at the time, we look around the new home and realize we were justifying that little gnome apartment (and perhaps I am merely justifying my new home right now….but then again that’s what we do about most of our big life decisions. We justify them). We seem to fit better within the walls of the new home. There is space to retreat into our selves, space to cuddle, space to run, space to dance, space to entertain, and space to “settle down.”
Funny thing though about buying a home, at least for me, is now I am shy about decorating. In the apartment, I slapped anything and everything up on the walls and covered every nook and cranny with “stuff.” It was cozy and easy and because everything felt so temporary in that apartment, if in the end we decided to make changes it was not a big deal. We would just tack up another nail, move something from this side to that and be done with it. Not in our new house though. In our house, every decision is painstaking. Since the home was brand new when we purchased it in April, any hole is a hole WE MADE. AH! The pressure of making holes in the wall has paralyzed my home decorating. In the the ten months since moving in, we have hung up four things. That’s it, four! When the time came to make a hole in the wall to hang up those four things, David treated it like a complex math equation. We measured, taped, measured again to make sure the print would be exactly where we wanted it. Finally, we would take a deep breath, bang the nail into place, and sigh as the print hung perfectly on the wall.
As a result of this slow process, our friends call our home a “dystopia.” The blank walls that remain stare out at them while they visit. Yes, we have furniture and yes there are windows to break up the space, but the space is present. It has become our third roommate. Hours are spent on pinterest picking new pieces of furniture to one day purchase when we hit the jackpot (or save a little), flipping through catalogs, and stalking etsy, all in an attempt to reduce the space. If this process has taught me anything it is a much needed lesson on patience.
I know that none of the holes would be permanent and that anything we decide to buy or hang can be adjusted, reframed, or refinished. But, for some reason now that we own this home, our pride in it and our love of it, has given great weight to these decisions and has finally slowed us down. We dated in a hurry, moved in together in a hurry, married in a hurry, and bought our house in a hurry. I know I would hurry into having a baby right now, if I could only pick out the perfect bedroom set, the perfect office desk, and the perfect paint colors. So until then, we will wait a little bit on the baby, wait a little bit on the furniture, and just enjoy our home a little bit longer as it is and enjoy each other a little bit longer just as us two. Things will change quickly before we know it. This time…an empty house…will be fleeting.